sernacht:

So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

"Do not come any closer."

(via avengingphilcoulson)


stacksbreadup:

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.

stacksbreadup:

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.

(via starttheuproar)


johnlockshipsdestiel:

officialprincewilliam:

officialprincewilliam:

can a dinosaur even get more fuckin rad?

image

you bet jurassican

i am so impressed by that dinosaur and that pun congratulations

(via avengingphilcoulson)


She rode on airplanes and fell asleep in hotel beds. Dreaming of far away places - writing poetry with her sunset eyes.

streeter:

I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.” 

streeter:

I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.” 

(via itreallyatemyhand)


I loved you head over handles
like my first bicycle accident—
before the mouthful of gravel and blood,
I swore we were flying.
Sierra DeMulder (via counting-airplanes)

(via rustyvoices)


itsbetterthananal:

the only thing you need to know about public school is that people go hard as shit during classroom jeopardy review games. there are no friends here

(via patrick-scrumptious)


thepondsaregone:

thorinoakenbutt:

castielandpie:

poryqon:

it bothers me that Kansas and Arkansas are not pronounced the same

I’m from the UK and I have been pronouncing Arkansas as Ar-Kansas my whole life

For all my non-american friends, Arkansas is pronounced ark-an-saw

WHAT

(via amatusvanitas)


elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

rats-and-riots:

blinding-eclips:

finalfee:

finalfee:

GUYS I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’RE AS EXCITED AS I AM BUT MY DAD BOUGHT PURPLE POTATOES AND WE’RE MAKING MASH

GUYS

image

THIS IS SURREAL

what

I HAVE HAD THESE. My aunt got them. We had purple french fries.

that is some don’t hug me im scared shit

(via amatusvanitas)


risarei:

finishing a series but still being attached to the story and its characters

image

(via patrick-scrumptious)